The Sandwich Generation

Are you caught in the sandwich generation, looking after parents and looking after children?. How do you cope with it. Do you think your life is particularly stressful because of this? Many of us with unmarried children under 25 living at home are also caring for an older relative.

More women than men are caught in this trap, women who thought they would have it much easier when they got to the mid 40s and 50s. now find that things are much harder. Just when they think their children are grown up, their parents become their children.

There are various ways to deal with the sort of stress that comes from taking care of two different generations. The first all important person is yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others. Ensure you are happy with what you are doing, how you are reacting to the circumstances. Take time out for yourself and accept your feelings.

Remember your children, however old are always your children. They want to know they are loved, however many boundaries they try and breach. They may resent the time you are spending away from them, either with parents or at work. Explain your situation to them and help them understand what you are doing and ask for their help. Lots of parents don't like to ask for the children's help in this sort of situation but children will respect you for it. It will give them good values and a healthy self esteem.

Remind both parents and children who you are and that you deserve a lift. Sometime you may feel that you are being pulled in both directions when that happens, regroup yourself and remind yourself what is important and above all, never lose your sense of humor. Be patient with yourself, your parents and your children and if things get too much seek help or just take time out for you. Being part of the 'sandwich generation' means taking good care of yourself. Don't forget you are allowed to make mistakes.

Women especially can find it hard in dealing with the two generations but asking for help can make all the difference in how you communicate with your parents and children. Find someone you can 'off load' to a friend, a Coach, a guide or even clergy who specializes in relationship issues. Find out exactly what you want your future with the two generations to be like?

Would you like to know how life coaching could help you? At http://www.denisevogel-lifecoach.com you will find answers to the questions you may be asking yourself. There are some tools on my website to start you on your way and more of this kind of article.

Perhaps procrastination is your bugbear? http://www.takeactionnowblog.com for some interesting tips and a sign up box for my newsletter.

Denise Vogel is a personal life coach based in Essex who has set her sights in helping people to turn their lives around.

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